I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
