the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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