i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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