HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You pole danced in your parka.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
