He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
