I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
