Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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