What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
