I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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