My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
