i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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