so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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