She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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