How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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