Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
