i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
