he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
