You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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