I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
