Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
