dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
