Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
