I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
