just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
