But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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