I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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