She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
