i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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