What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
