Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My breasts were aching with rage.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
