The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
