Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
