xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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