I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
