You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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