Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
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You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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