"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
