OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
