I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
