I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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