4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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