Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize