I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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