Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
this will be a night to untag.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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