Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
