I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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