dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
