is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
