last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
