I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
