.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
