Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize