I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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