Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
