Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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