Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize