the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
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there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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