So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
