My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
