i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize