The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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